A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes
by PinkFairy727
Summary: Nightmares- just one of the many side-effects that come from giving your life over to Torchwood.' Strong Gwen/Ianto friendship with slight Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys and possible Tosh/Owen.


**Authors Notes: **In honour of mrs_cj_harkness' birthday, I present Gwen/Ianto friendship fic, with a side order of Jack/Ianto goodness. Thanks to ET05 for the beta.

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**A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes**

Gwen watches Ianto from across the Hub, a frown marring her face. She knows the signs now; the sight of dark bags under Ianto's eyes- highlighted by pale skin that has not seen more than brief glimpses of sunlight in several months- more familiar to her than she would ever desire it to be.

She sighs quietly, watching as Ianto slowly, methodically, scrubs the already shining kitchen bench. She doesn't have to turn around to know Jack is standing at the open door to his office, arms folded, following every movement Ianto makes with his eyes.

Ianto is moving with the same grace his actions always possess, but to Gwen each slight movement, each slow circle made with the dishcloth, seems to take just that millisecond longer than it would if he was running at full capacity.

Nightmares- just one of the many side-effects that come from giving your life over to Torchwood. Memories that are hard enough to ignore during the day rearing their ugly heads when one's defences are lowered during necessary sleep.

Rhys, bless him, has been brilliant since the incident with the Space Whale and he has been an unwavering pillar of strength since...that day...and she can talk to him now about most things surrounding her job.

Injuries from Weevil hunts are no longer accompanied by lies that sound ridiculous even to her own ears, even if she does still try to cover up the worst of the bruises. She doesn't like adding to his worry, but she recognises the blessing she has been given in Rhys; is grateful for it when he is there at the end of a long day with a glass of wine and recordings of _Wife Swap_.

She can curl up in his arms and tell him about the little girl the Rift stole two months ago. She can cry into his shoulder as she tells him how she returned three days later, aged beyond recognition but still clutching the self-same teddy bear she was holding when she vanished out of her pram. She can still hear the childish voice calling _'Are you my mummy?' _when she tries to sleep, can still see Jack briefly clinging to Ianto's arm, as if it is the only thing keeping him upright, when she closes her eyes.

Jack allowed Rhys into the Hub with her the day Ianto discovered a 29th century board game in his sister's attic, left there by the previous owners- she had found the irony amusing even if Ianto hadn't. They had eaten pizza, drunk beer and played _Snakes and Ladders _usingholographic counters that would fight each other if they landed on the same square as one of their opponents, the loser suddenly finding himself back at the beginning of the board.

Rhys is part of Torchwood now, whether Jack admits it or not, and she shares almost everything with him. But not the nightmares- that is a conversation she saves for Ianto alone.

Some of the nightmares and dreams Rhys is able chase away- the ones she'd had before Torchwood. Dreams where she is falling from a great height or being chased by Rhys' cake-throwing mother. For these dreams Rhys can pull her into his arms, kiss her, and reassure her that his mother has never baked a cake in her life.

But when the dreams are not about maniac mother-in-laws but crazy siblings of her boss, of death, explosions and so much blood she thinks her hands will never be clean...these dreams she can't share with Rhys. She doesn't _want _to share them with him and to add to the worry in his eyes every morning when he kisses her goodbye and begs her to be careful.

Gwen can see Ianto taking apart the coffee machine now- finally satisfied with the state of the kitchen surfaces- tenderly cleaning each tiny piece of machinery with no indication that he knows he is under observation. Ianto may not show it, but Gwen knows that Ianto is aware they are watching.

She has never felt comfortable sharing her dreams with her any of her other colleagues. Even when she was on the force she never told her dreams to Andy or Claire or any of the girls she would sometimes go to the pub with after work, and her dreams then were like childhood cartoons compared to the nightmares Torchwood has given her.

She could probably talk to Jack; he would certainly listen to her, but Jack claims never to sleep, so although he could probably empathise with her, he wouldn't relate. Even if he did admit to sleeping and the nightmares that came with them- months earlier, Ianto had drunkenly assured her that not only did Jack sleep but he also snored like a pig- Gwen didn't trust him to not try and lighten the situation with a tale involving sex and multiple aliens, most of whom had tentacles.

Sleeping habits and nightmares had never come up in any of her girly conversations with Tosh. They talked about the best shoes for running in and how cute Jack and Ianto were, thinking they were being subtle and that nobody noticed the small smiles and significant looks they threw each other's way when they thought nobody was looking. Once, after several pink cocktails and more than a few vodka and diet cokes, they had even drawn up a list titled '_The Top 10 Ways to Get Revenge on Doctor Owen Harper When He Is Being an Arse_.' Tosh's normally neat letters slightly lopsided and the first two lines blurred where Gwen had spilt her cocktail on it.

The list is still in her locker, hidden underneath her spare jeans and a book titled, '_How to Use Kitchen Appliances for Dummies.' _ She had bought it as a joke present for Owen shortly before he had died the first time, after he had blown up the microwave trying to cook a pre-packaged meal. She never got around to giving it to him.

Blinking away the moisture gathering in her eyes, Gwen focuses her eyes on Ianto, now piecing the coffee machine back together with his usual care and consideration.

She still misses Tosh and Owen, she always will, and though Tosh's technical brilliance may not have been much use in this situation, Owen and his no-nonsense attitude would be. He would know which drugs to give Ianto so he slept, waking up the next morning from a dream-free night. More importantly, Ianto would have taken the tablets- admittedly, it would be with a great deal of complaint and only after Owen issued threats to limit Ianto's coffee intake and/or declare him unfit for active duty (or any other strenuous activities he might enjoy) but at least he would have taken them.

Just last week Gwen witnessed her first major argument between Jack and Ianto- Jack demanding Ianto take the over-the-counter sleeping tablets and Ianto refusing, hating how groggy they made him feel and convinced he would be unable to escape from the nightmares he _knew_ would still haunt him, no matter how deep a sleep the tablets lulled him into.

Walking past the sofa several hours later and finding Ianto asleep, his head pillowed on Jack's lap, suggested that either Ianto had finally relented and taken the tablets or his body had crashed of its own accord. Gwen didn't ask which it was, just silently handed Jack a cup of tea and a book to read before leaving the Hub via a back exit so as not to wake Ianto with the alarms.

The next day she had found herself sitting on the sofa with her own cup of tea, dark circles poorly hidden underneath foundation and concealer and her head resting on Ianto's shoulder.

They should have both been working, knowing the Weevils would not find their way to the Torchwood vaults of their own accord. She should have insisted she was fine and moved away but she had been tired and her head ached from too little sleep the night before, most of which was punctuated with screams and memories merging together into dreams that were more terrifying than the individual events had been on their own.

They should have both been working, but Ianto didn't complain and Jack didn't disturb them- knowing where to find them if they were needed.

It is a ritual originating from the days after Jack had vanished on a blue box and her already shoddy sleeping patterns seemed to vanish completely. Ianto would join her on her coffee breaks, sitting silently with her and drinking from his own cup, letting her talk about her dreams.

Visions about aliens they had encountered coming back, revenge in their hearts.

Rhys once again swimming in his own blood.

Jack's eyes staring lifelessly up at her from the Hub floor.

People dying because she wasn't fast enough, brave enough to pull the trigger on her gun before the alien pulled his.

She feels guilty the first time, tears and words rushing out of her caused by too many hours without sleep and the pressure of taking on a job she never wanted, taking comfort from Ianto without knowingly giving anything back. She lets Ianto manhandle her until her head is resting on his shoulder, his hand running soothingly through her hair until her words and tears dry up. She falls asleep soon after and is both surprised and embarrassed that Ianto is still there when she wakes up.

She tries to move but Ianto tightens his grip across her shoulders before starting to talk himself. He seems to talk more to the wall than to herself; tales of blood and of metal creatures taking over the world, of people already dead and people still alive screaming at him, their faces scarred with metal attachments, telling him that it was his fault, that he should have saved them, that he didn't try hard enough.

Gwen doesn't know how to respond to that, doesn't know what to say to make Ianto feel better. In the end, she says nothing, deciding that actions speak louder than words. She withdraws from his now slackened grip before raising her lips to his cheek and then drawing her own arms around his shoulders, lowering his head to her shoulder and feeling Ianto stiffen before moving into the embrace.

If asked, '_What was the pivotal moment in your friendship with Ianto? When did you stop seeing him as the quiet man in the suits and start seeing him as your friend?_' Gwen knows she would point to that moment on the old settee. That moment when they were just two people out of their depths and needing some comfort and reassurances that they were not the only ones suffering.

Even after Jack comes back and Rhys finds out what _Special Op's _actually is, the sight of Gwen and Ianto sitting together on the sofa is not uncommon.

Tosh never tells anybody of the times she walks past the sofa and sees Gwen asleep with her head on Ianto's shoulder, just as Owen never acknowledges seeing Ianto with his head in Gwen's lap, staring at the ceiling while every word he whispers carries to Owen as he walks past. When Jack finds them crying together on the sofa, united in their grief, he never intrudes upon them, but he is freer and more open with his affections to them both on these days.

It is with a quiet hiss of water boiling that Gwen realises the coffee machine has been restored. She can smell the coffee beans roasting and see Ianto picking up cups and placing them in a neat row.

Ianto leaves the kitchen a few minutes later with one cup- Jack's blue and white striped one- leaving the other two behind on the kitchen bench. Gwen picks them up and moves them to the coffee table while Ianto slowly carries Jack's up the metal stairs.

She watches Jack approach Ianto out of the corner of her eye. She sees him accept the cup, but he does not take an immediate sip as he usually does. Instead, he raises his free hand to Ianto's cheek, his thumb rubbing Ianto's cheekbone gently. She ducks her head, not wanting to intrude. They have been a lot more open with their affections towards each other since Tosh and Owen...since that night, but observing this intimacy between them makes her feel a lot more uncomfortable than any of the times she has walked in on them half-naked.

When she next risks a glance up, their foreheads are resting together and their eyes are closed as they silently give and receive comfort from each other. Jack raises his head, pressing his lips chastely against Ianto's before running his hand down Ianto's arm to squeeze his hand.

Gwen averts her gaze again, only looking up when she feels the settee dip next to her. They both reach forward at the same time, drinking from their cups before leaning back in silence.

Ianto makes the first move, shuffling closer to Gwen and resting his head against her shoulder...but still neither of them speaks.

"Do you think they're right?" Ianto says eventually. "...Owen, Suzie and Jack," he continues, not needing to see Gwen's face to know she is looking confused. "That this is all there is? That there's nothing after this?"

"I don't know," Gwen replies slowly. "To be honest, it's not something I like to think about."

Ianto moves his himself down the sofa so his head is now resting on Gwen's leg, her hand moving automatically to run through his short hair, before he speaks again. "Me either...usually."

"What's brought this on? A nightmare?" She asks him.

Ianto doesn't reply for a few minutes and Gwen starts thinking he may not answer at all when he suddenly starts talking again. "I dreamt about Tosh last night...and Owen." Gwen squeezes his shoulder reassuringly, encouraging him to continue before moving her hand back to his hair.

"They were in an old fashioned dance hall, like the ballroom on _Strictly Come Dancing_. There was just the three of us and Tosh was wearing a ball gown, a blue floor-length one. It was like we were in a _Disney_ film where Tosh was Cinderella and Owen was Prince Charming." Gwen smiles at the image Ianto is painting; Tosh would make a good princess.

"They were dancing slowly across the floor, but there wasn't any music. Tosh smiled at me over Owen's shoulder when they reached the other end of the room. I tried to say something to her, but she didn't hear me..." Ianto's voice trails off. Gwen squeezes her eyes shut, willing away the tears threatening to overflow. She can cry later, when she is home with Rhys, but Ianto needs her to stay strong for now.

"Tosh winked at me...She smiled and winked before turning back to Owen..." Ianto's words are quieter now, intersected with deep breaths as he forces each word out.

"There was a door at the back of the room which I didn't see at first. I only noticed it because a bright, white light was starting to shine from underneath it..." Gwen knows she has lost the battle for control of her emotions when she feels Ianto's frame shaking under her hands. She starts to cry silently, tears falling onto Ianto's hair.

"It was faint at first but it got stronger...little bits breaking through the door until it was just a solid block of white light...Tosh didn't look at me again after that..." Gwen gazes at their rapidly cooling cups of coffee, listening to Ianto and trying to wrest back control of her tears.

"Owen changed their direction. They had been dancing in a circle around the room but once the door disappeared they started to dance into the light...I ran after them but they didn't stop...I couldn't catch up with them..."

Without thinking, Gwen leans down to kiss Ianto's hair when his voice fails again, trying to offer him some silent comfort. Ianto's voice is choked with emotion when he speaks again, but she can't see through her own tears to see if Ianto is crying or not.

"The room stretched out, getting longer and longer and the light brighter the faster I ran...The light filled the whole room in the end...it just got brighter and brighter until I couldn't look at it anymore...I woke up after that." Gwen doesn't know what to say or even if her voice is capable of forming the words she doesn't yet have.

"I keep thinking," Ianto says, sitting up after several minutes of silence and reaching over to wipe away one of Gwen's tears with his thumb. "What if it was a message from Tosh, telling me that she had found Owen? That she wasn't alone in the dark."

Gwen reaches for one of Ianto's hands and squeezes it, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her other arm. Ianto's eyes are red but there are no tear tracks on his face.

Torchwood has re-written all of her beliefs, twisting and turning them so they no longer resemble the originals. Humans are both so much better and worse than she had ever imagined them to be, and she no longer thinks of little green men when she thinks of aliens. Instead, she thinks of snarling, vicious beasts living in the Cardiff sewers and black-blooded, shape-shifters ruining her wedding day.

When she was still a young girl her Grandad died, breaking her heart in the process. Amidst her own tears, her Grandmother had gathered her into her arms and told her not to worry; he was still watching them from the clouds and the stars and that she would see her Grandad again, one day.

Yet, when Suzie had returned from the dead, she had claimed there was nothing there. Nothing but darkness and something trying to get through.

Owen said the same thing.

So did Jack.

She knows there is no way to tell if Ianto's dream is just a product of his imagination, his subconscious trying to give him some peace and just a tiny shred of hope to cling onto, or if Tosh really has found a way through the darkness, found Owen and a way to tell Ianto that they are together again.

Gwen smiles through her tears, remembering Tosh's smile when she would find the answer to a problem nobody else could solve; remembering the way she would work for days and weeks on end, gnawing away at a problem until she was satisfied with the answer she had devised.

Turning back towards Ianto, the last few tears running down her face, Gwen squeezes his hand again. "If there's anybody who can find a way out of the dark it's Tosh."

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**Like it? Love it? Loathe it? Let me know :c)**


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